The Fat Acceptance Movement, Chapter 1

The Fat Acceptance Movement is a subject that I could write about forever, and from numberless angles. A discussion on the Movement could cause me to delve into body image, psychology, health, social values, and countless other areas. Perhaps I will write about each of those separately – for the time being, however, I will simply introduce the topic, beginning with my personal experience with body image issues and fat acceptance.

In my country, most people would not call me “fat”. In the Caribbean, the ideal female figure is generally considered to be one which is “well-rounded”, with ample breasts and hips. A thin figure is appreciated, but not any more than is a voluptuous one. This ideal has spawned local phenomena such as the “skinny vs. fluffy” movement (more a comparison of respective benefits than a war) and the creation of songs such as “Food All Over” and “Round-up Queen”. It has become apparent that my body type may be regarded differently in other parts of the world, though; although I am just about the right size at home, when shopping online from US stores, I sometimes find myself forced to refer to the plus sizes in order to find the right fit.

My struggles with fat acceptance began a few years ago, when I realized that I had begun to gain weight rapidly, despite having made no significant changes to my diet or lifestyle. I passed off these changes at first as simply my body “filling out”, as I was just closing off my teenage years, until other correlating changes in my body forced me to seek a medical opinion on the matter. After seeing a few doctors, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). My weight gain was so rapid and abrupt, that within a year and a half, I had gained about 50 pounds, before I suddenly plateaued. It was difficult for me to accept the changes. Along with the other symptoms of my condition, such as amenorrhea and mild hirsutism, I felt like my body had been wrecked. I had just begun to love my tall, slim, pear-shaped figure, when all of a sudden I had been transformed into an almost-apple. My arms, waist, and thighs had increased in size, my oval face was now round and swollen, and I had embarrassing stretch marks. I had once been the vain selfie queen of the family; now I no longer wanted to take pictures of myself – I couldn’t recognize the girl that I saw in them. The changes were just too sudden; as I remarked to a friend once, I felt like I had been suddenly taken out of my body and placed into someone else’s. However, what made that year and a half the most difficult for me was the response that it garnered from the people around me. Rumors quickly began spreading about me. I mean no exaggeration when I say that news spread all over my country that I had become pregnant (I live on a very small island). That was difficult for me, as my family is generally regarded highly by the rest of our society, and people expect a lot from the children of the family, morally and otherwise. Apart from that, it seemed that people no longer saw me, but only my weight gain. Whenever I met someone that I hadn’t seen in a while, their very first remark would be, “you’ve gained weight!” Needless to say, it got very annoying, very fast. My family meant well, but they seemed to expect me to plunge into a strict diet and exercise regimen, criticizing the things that I ate (that I had always eaten before) and the way that my clothes fit. Their remarks were often much more offensive than they probably intended them to be. It was a difficult time for me, and it took a toll on my self-esteem, but thankfully I was eventually able to pull out of it and move to a place where I learned to accept what had happened to me, and even to think of myself as beautiful again. The ridicule and criticism hasn’t completely stopped, but I have grown stronger and learned to let it roll right off me like water off a duck’s back. Unfortunately, not everyone gets to that place. I could have easily taken another emotional direction, and lost myself in additional struggles such as body dysmorphism, eating disorders, and depression.

Although there are many negative sides to the Fat Acceptance Movement (which I will explore in later chapters of this discussion), I would like to believe that the initial idea behind it was the importance of accepting first, who you are, and second, who everyone else is. We all have our unique ideas of what beauty is, but it is wrong to try to impose those ideals on others. Although the action may be well-intended, the effects on others can be devastating. This is only worsened when the imposer is insensitive about how they communicate their ideals. A year ago, I attended my sister’s primary school graduation. I had bought a new dress and shoes and had my hair done, and despite my rotundness, I was feeling like hot stuff. I sailed through the event, taking pictures and feeling glamorous, and just before my family left, I stopped to say hello to two of my former teachers, one of whom had a daughter among the graduates. Before my conversation with them was over, I had begun to regret going over. My teacher, who up until then I had held in very high regard, told me very vehemently how disappointed she was to see me looking as I did. She told me that she loved to see young people looking slim and trim, and that she was certain that I had had to buy new clothes in order to attend the function. You can imagine how I felt, being loudly berated by an adult that I admired, while my sisters, my mother, and my other teacher looked on awkwardly. Her comment was uncalled for and out of line; she had no idea that I was suffering from a medical condition, and it was really none of her business whether any of my other clothes could still fit or not. This is the way that many people behave towards those whose bodies do not conform to their aesthetic standards. They fail to understand how their behavior affects others; comments like that one have inspired feelings of worthlessness that drove many people into poor self-image, eating disorders and even depression and suicide. It reminds me of the story I read of a woman who struggled with bulimia for a lifetime, all because her teacher told her when she was a child that she had “the wrong body” for gymnastics, which she loved.

When you consider the many different body types that comprise the sum of all humanity, it seems ridiculous to believe that there is only one type of body that is truly beautiful. Despite that, many people today are unhappy with themselves because they cannot meet certain standards. Thinking about the Fat Acceptance Movement inspires thoughts that apply to so much more than weight only. Today, some people want to be thinner. Some people want to be bigger. Some want to be taller and some want to be shorter. Some wish that they had smaller breasts, a larger behind, thicker hair, longer legs, and the list goes on and on. Some people are even insecure about their sexual organs. Many truly beautiful people modify their bodies, and even disfigure them, pursuing cosmetic surgery as a means to obtaining a “more beautiful” body.

While seeking to lose or gain weight in order to improve your perception of your own appearance, it is important for us to remember that some things about us are unchangeable, at least by natural means. Many aspects of our physique are determined by our genes. Some people, like me, have had our physiques altered by injury, disease or medical procedures, such as surgery or medication. This is why it is so important to learn to love ourselves and others for who we naturally are. Many people are aware that sickness can cause weight loss, but they do not know that sickness can cause weight gain as well, whether it is caused by fat or water retention. I know of other such cases besides my own – I have a cousin who is overweight due to a condition of the thyroid gland. Many people who are being ridiculed due to their weight are suffering from such diseases or injuries, unbeknownst to their tormentors.

In my opinion, ridiculing others because of their weight reflects a poor self-image. You cannot respect differences in others if you have not yet learned to accept your own uniqueness. If you need to boost your own self esteem in order to convince yourself that you are better than someone else, then it shows that you do not yet know what about yourself makes you worthy of acceptance. There is no “better” figure. Apple, banana, pear, and everything in between, all are uniquely beautiful.

It is also possible to take fat acceptance too far. There is a threshold beyond which weight accumulation becomes unhealthy, and this varies depending on age, gender and lifestyle. However, that concept is different to that of discriminating based on weight, and it does not justify such discrimination either.

In conclusion, the foundation of this whole matter is self-love. If you truly love yourself, you will be secure enough in your own skin to feel worthy of acceptance without compromising someone else’s confidence. You will be mindful to take care of your body, including adopting a healthy lifestyle to ensure that your body is not being strained by carrying more weight than it should. If you love yourself, you will have love enough to share with others, such that you can love people for who they are on the inside, regardless of whether you feel that their looks are better than, less than, or on par with yours. In fact, when you love others for who they are invisibly, what they are visibly diminishes in importance.